During last week’s episode of Being Mary Jane (which is one of my favorite shows on television right now) Gabrielle Union’s character Mary Jane Paul, the cable news anchor who is the protagonist of the show, was accused of selling out.
Mary Jane was once at the helm of the show Talk Back with Mary Jane Paul, on which she covered minority issues and other topics often ignored by mainstream media. Recently, however, she was promoted to a highly coveted prime-time position with her station SNC, a move that meant more money and more celebrity, but less opportunities to cover issues of social justice. We’ve seen Mary Jane scoff at having to do stories on heroic puppies, but we’ve also seen her relishing in her new salary and spending allowance — buying a new wardrobe, a $30,000 handbag and even a new Tesla!
On last week’s episode Mary Jane spoke to a journalism class at a local HBCU and one student boldly said to her “You sold out!” and accused her of being more concerned with fame and fortune than reporting the news. Mary Jane quickly replied that she didn’t sell out, she “bought in.” The student’s words, however, haunted her long after she left campus.
They haunted me, too.
Am I a sellout?
When I regularly posted on my personal blog WriteousBabe.com, I built a decent reputation for myself as a feminist writer. I regularly posted about women’s issues from the perspective of southern black feminist on my blog and social media channels. I wasn’t making any money directly from my blog, but I was happy with my rapidly growing number of pageviews and the recognition and writing opportunities I was getting from major women’s publications.
But then See Jane Write — which began as a little networking group for women who write and blog — started getting really, really popular in my hometown. And in the summer of 2014 I met a business coach who convinced me that I could turn See Jane Write into a business. And I did.
Soon all of my blogging efforts turned to the See Jane Write website and away from WriteousBabe.com as I began launching e-courses and offering writing, blogging, and business coaching and consulting. (Obviously, I’m not pulling in enough cash to buy a new Tesla, but I am trending to soon be earning a full-time income from See Jane Write.)
And I’ve been so busy building See Jane Write, there has been hardly any time to see Javacia write! I have no time to work on my own writing goals or on my craft.
Even my social media life has morphed. My feeds, once filled with the musings of feminist activists, is now full of blogging and business tips from my favorite female online entrepreneurs.
I’ll be honest. A part of me is happy to have an online life that’s filled with positivity and professional enrichment especially since nowadays so many people use social media for public shaming, a modern-day virtual pillory, in the name of social justice.
But I can’t help but wonder if I’m burying my head in the sand. I can’t help but ask myself if I sold out.
Like Mary Jane, I want to say I didn’t sell out, I bought in. I want to say that this is just what my feminism looks like now — empowering women to empower themselves through blogging, writing and entrepreneurship; encouraging women to write and live a life worth writing about; equipping women to be the authors of their own lives.
But like MJ, part of me wonders if that’s just a cop-out.
After talking things over with a few folks, Mary Jane considered giving up her prime-time spot and returning to Talk Back. Ironically, it was the woman who has been blackmailing her all season (long story) who gave her the best advice.
“You can’t tear down to build,” she told Mary Jane.
CeCe the extortionist stressed to Mary Jane that young African Americans need to see her face on prime time but reminded her that they also needed to see her reporting more meaningful stories.
By the episode’s conclusion, Mary Jane decided she would attempt to do both Talk Back and her prime-time position. We’ll see on this week’s episode how that works out.
But this is where the life lesson I’m supposed to take from this begins to get muddled.
Am I supposed to figure out a way to build both my personal platform as a feminist writer and See Jane Write. I’ve tried before, but juggling two brands and two blogs is tough, perhaps too tough. In October I attempted to revive WriteousBabe.com, complete with a redesign and brief social media campaign, but See Jane Write quickly took my time and attention again.
Mary Jane may be able to handle two news shows, but this isn’t TV. This is real life. And in my real life I also have a full-time job and a husband who’d like to see me sometimes. I’m not convinced building a personal platform and business simultaneously is feasible for me.
But perhaps it is.
Or perhaps the answer is to cover feminist issues and share carefully crafted personal essays on the See Jane Write website, in addition to the posts on blogging, business, and Birmingham.
I have a rule about not blogging about a problem until I have found a solution, but I’m breaking that rule with this post.
I have no idea what I’m going to do. But somehow I feel that writing this post is getting me one step closer to clarity.
Have you ever felt like a sellout? If so, what did you do?
Great post, Javacia. I pray you get clarity soon.
Thanks, Chandra!
I’m excited for you! My favorite pieces that you write are the ones I read in Bmetro every month. I love your blog, but I look forward to hopefully seeing you expand your blog with this kind of writing too. You are an inspiration to a lot of us out there. You’ve got this. 🙂
Thanks so much, Sasha! I’m hoping to do more personal essays, too. I just have to get over the mental block that keeps me from being as open on the SJW website as I am on my personal blog and in personal essays.
Hi Javacia, I totally understand where you’re coming from. I have one business on the back burner while I pursue my current business. However, I think that See Jane Write and Writeous Babe are not mutually exclusive but instead simply two facets of your one business. I bet that it is certainly exhausting trying to write for two blogs. I believe that the readers of both your blogs are nearly identical. Those, like me, who are reading blogging and business tips would certainly not mind your feminist essays. If you combined the two blogs you can have a category for business and one for essays, etc. I think you have created a powerful brand with two different websites. I hope I’m not being too forward but I like to help people hone in on what they are really called to do. Whatever you decide to do, I know that you will find an ideal work life balance and that the financial rewards will be plentiful. Blessings!!
Marie, you aren’t being too forward at all. I REALLY appreciate the advice. I do think that combining the two blogs is the answer, I’m just not sure how to do that. I’m not sure what that would look like, plus I feel a mental block when I try to write personal essays on the See Jane Write website. Since SJW is my business it feels like I’m airing out my dirty laundry at work. But thanks again for this advice. I know you are right and I just need to find a way to combine these two projects.
Being called a sell out has haunted me since middle school for having white friends and continues decades later marrying a white husband.
Even without a FT job, time gets past me with reading blogs, social media and the never ending pile of laundry.
Here’s the honest truth:
I feel like I’m wasting SO many precious hours in a day but considering current circumstances, that’s ok.
I’ve seen time and again where writing and business mentors say “Use your full time job as way to build financial capital and have a side business. Once you’re ready to move on, jump in head first.
The only problem is – you love your FT job, which is a rare gift I’m sure you are grateful for. Your work helping kids and women is important. So.cut yourself some slack – if you’re genuinely unhappy not doing Writeous Babe make changes such as focusing your paid freelancing work for feminist publications.
For.me I’ve reduced blogging on my two sites to once per month. I’m sacrificing traffic and list building for sanity (read: time and energy). Perhaps you should look at how many hours you’re spending and cut back on SJW.
Another thing I’m working on is working less and getting paid more. In the next few months you should reconsider the blogs and publications you are writing for and the clients you work with and raise your rates. It’ll be hard to do buy trust me, it’s totally worth it.
Longest comment ever! LOL Love you and I’ll catch up privately.
Thank you for such a thoughtful reply. You’ve definitely given me a lot to think about. I hope we can catch up soon, too.
I love your honesty in this post, and firmly believe that by continuing to pen pieces like this on See Jane Write, you are not at all selling out. Keep on keepin’ on.
Thanks, girl. You know I often look at your writing and what you’re doing with your blog and feel challenged to focus more on writing and less on business. You are doing amazing work.
Javacia, just want you to know that you are not alone with this struggle. Mine is between my writing (books) and marketing (with blog falling between the two). Marketing is an absolutely necessity as a writer if you want to grow your readership, but it is a time sinkhole. If you starve the creative side, it will wither. That said, it may not be applicative to you. Maybe you are not asking the right question. What makes you happy? What stirs you? You are empowering women with the business side of what you do. Does it excite you to do that? If so, then that is where your primary energy should be (aside from the matter of earning money to eat). Write about other things when you are moved to do it or play with combining the two on occasion. As long as you are writing your truth, I think that would work.
Wow! Wonderful advice, Teresa! Thank you so much.
Advice bathed in wisdom.
You’re far from a sellout! I don’t see why your feminist content and blogging content have to be mutually exclusive. See Jane Write is made up of women who share your passion for blogging, writing, and sharing stories. They can also benefit from messages of empowerment from a feminist perspective in order to take themselves to the next level.
Feel free to sprinkle in your personal brand into your business. You ARE your business.
I know you’re right, Karri. For some reason I just can’t be myself on the See Jane Write blog. I need to get over that mental block.
It seems you are addressing this as an either/or question. You ARE See Jane Write. If it’s not you, who is she?
And yet, I totally understand. The woman who posts on my site believes a WordPress coach should write tutorials. Her voice is not mine. I readers to know I believe in them.
Perhaps my comment here will propel me to be myself. A powerful woman with a gift for connecting and empowering women.
That’s exactly my issue. I don’t feel as if I am See Jane Write and I have trouble being myself on the SJW website. But since so many of you are saying the same thing, I clearly need to work this out and get over that mental block. Thanks so much for your input.
Javicia, maybe what you are missing in your balancing act is Mary Jane’s personal assistant, house keeper, lack of children, lack of commited relationship (although, that girl does have quite the sex life, here again, more fanisity), I only know you from the words you have just written but it is clear to see that you are driven and passionate about your work and I presume you work to balance that in all the areas that make you a complete woman-eventhough as the years tick away being that complete woman will also change as well. You can see I am but a writter want-a-be but wish to encourage non the less!
Thanks so much for your input. To be clear, I’m not saying my life should look like Mary Jane’s. After all, she’s not a real person. But the issue that I and the character are both facing is profit v. passion/purpose. That’s what I’m struggling to balance.
Hi Javacia,
I believe I understand your stuggle. It’s ironic that I’m reading your post now. I just finished updating a similar article for my newsletter this week. My passion is to save the lives of children exposed to secondhand smoke; that is my business. But, I am also a singer, poet, dance coach and dancer. I love all those things as well! But I made up my mind in All that I do with these gifts or talents, the goal is to save the lives of these children. And I decided that no matter how different the gifts are, I know my purpose!
I am more familiar with your SJW work than I am with your blog. But your post today is so real and relatable! It is the kind of openess that I believe will draw the right people.
Finally I say, if you put passion/purpose before profit I believe God will make sure that you have more than enough! My prayer is that His Peace will lead and guide you 🙂
GeNeise
Thank you, GeNeise. I pray that you will find a way to pursue all of your passions as well.