On Friday, April 17, I had the honor of delivering the keynote address at the Youth Leadership Birmingham graduation. Youth Leadership Birmingham (YLB) is a program by Leadership Birmingham for high school sophomores and juniors who are dedicated to creating meaningful change in their community and the city we call home. Founded in 1986 by visionary Leadership Birmingham alumni who recognized the need to cultivate young leaders, YLB creates transformative experiences by bringing together diverse student cohorts across Jefferson County for comprehensive leadership development – all at no cost to participants.
Many of the parents and other adults in the room told me that even though my talk was for the kids, they found themselves taking notes. What a compliment! So, I’ve decided to share my remarks here on the See Jane Write blog.
Raise your hand if you’ve read or at least heard of the book “Their Eyes Were Watching God” by Zora Neale Hurston. I first read this book in high school, and decades later, it’s still one of my favorites.
In that book, Hurston writes a statement I see floating about on social media a lot: “There are years that ask questions and years that answer.”
That’s what I want to talk to you about today – questions and answers.
When I was your age, I thought that by the time I got to be the very BIG age that I am now, I would have all the answers. Spoiler alert – that didn’t happen. And it probably won’t happen for you either.
I’ve learned that growing up and being a good leader isn’t about knowing all the answers. It’s about being wise enough to be willing to ask questions.
So that’s my charge to you today. Stay curious and ask questions.
Now, I’m a journalist, so I literally ask people questions for a living, but even outside of my work, asking questions has benefited me and made my life richer.
In Journalism 101, you’re taught that every story has to answer those 6 basic questions: who, what, why, when, where, and how? Using that as a guide, I want to share with you 6 questions I think you should ask yourself at this and every stage of life.
Who am I uninterrupted?
Who am I uninterrupted? People often talk about the importance of being your authentic self, but that can be hard to do – at any age, really, but especially when you’re young, because to be your authentic self, you have to figure out who you are. And who you are is always changing. But ask yourself – who am I uninterrupted? And by that I mean, who are you when you feel free, when you feel confident, when you feel safe? Ask — what’s my favorite version of myself? People often talk about being the best version of themselves but the idea of best is usually tied to other people’s expectations, standards, and values. What about your expectations, standards, and values? What is your favorite version of yourself?
What do I want?
What do I want? Create a vision for your life and edit it as needed. Do this in whatever way works for you – a vision board, a journal entry, a conversation with a trusted mentor, family member or friend. Think about every area of your life. Consider what your ideal workday looks like but consider what does your ideal off day looks like too. But after you decide what you want, ask yourself this next question.
Why do you want it?
Why do I want it? That second part of that question is super important because sometimes we find ourselves going after certain goals just because someone else told us we should or just because a friend is doing it or because someone on social media made it look cool. So always get clear on WHY you’re going after something to make sure it really aligns with your values and your vision for your life.
When am I my most authentic self?
When am I my most authentic self? Once you do figure out who you are uninterrupted, once you figure out your favorite version of yourself, ask yourself when am I that person. And then ask yourself how you can be that person more often.
Where are my people?
Where are my people? Another favorite quote of mine is “Find your people and love them hard.” So when you’re in any space, whether that’s school, work, or even vacation — find your people. And your people may not always look like you. They may not have the same background as you. And the only way you’ll figure out if they’re your people is if you’re having conversations rooted in curiosity. Conversations where you’re asking meaningful questions. From that, you’ll learn if they’re your people and you’ll learn how to be a better friend too.
How can I help?
How can I help? It’s important to have your life vision and a strong sense of self and a supportive community of people around you to build you up. But don’t forget to give back. That’s what leadership is all about. Don’t forget to YOUR PART. And in my notes, I have “YOUR PART” in all caps because a single person can’t do everything. Look, the world is a dumpster fire right now, and that can be overwhelming. It can make you feel hopeless and helpless. But you are neither. There is always hope as long as good people are willing to do good work. So what’s your good work that you can do in your community, in your sphere of influence?
As I said when I started, growing up is not about having all the answers. It’s about being brave enough to ask important questions
Who am I uninterrupted?
What do I want?
Why do I want it?
When am I my most authentic self?
Where are my people?
How can I help?
If you truly want to see change in your community and in this world, it starts with these questions. It starts with you.