The story of how I fell in love with my life is also the story of how I became an overnight success.

No, I didn’t wake up one morning to 100K followers on social media or a million downloads of my podcast or a six-figure book deal from one of the Big 5 publishers.

But one morning I woke up and realized I was living the life I once prayed for and dreamed about.

I have always wanted to write and teach, and I’ve been doing both since even before I was an adult! I started writing as soon as I could sit up straight, according to my mom. And I’ve been teaching since my high school days as a math/science camp counselor. But during my years as a staff reporter at a paper in Louisville, Kentucky, I realized that I wanted to write on my own terms. And while I was an English teacher at the Alabama School of Fine Arts, I realized that as much as I loved ASFA, I wanted to teach on my own terms too. But what would that look like, I wondered.

I left the newsroom for the classroom in 2009 but kept writing as a freelancer and in 2011, I started See Jane Write, a website and community for women who write. In 2019, I left the classroom to be a full-time freelancer, or more accurately, to be what I call a full-time “writerpreneur.”  

To be honest, I’ve spent about 5 years fumbling my way through the freelance life. Sometimes taking on jobs I didn’t actually want because I was afraid I’d run out of money if I didn’t. Taking on jobs that paid too little and asked for too much. And even taking on jobs that didn’t align with my values. But this year, I hit my stride. I bet on myself, – for real, for real – and started saying “No” a lot more often and starting boldly going after opportunities that I knew would be a “Hell yes!”

But the true game changer was a mindset shift. One morning I woke up overwhelmed with gratitude for the life I’m living. It’s not perfect. There’s still plenty I want to do and much I would like to change. There are many milestones I have yet to reach. But every day I get to spend my time writing, coaching, and teaching ON MY OWN TERMS. Writing for clients with whom I’m proud to partner. Writing articles I’m proud to see my byline on. Coaching other writers with big and beautiful dreams. Teaching teen girls through programs like GirlSpring.

I consider myself an overnight success because this mindset shift did happen overnight. I truly did just wake up and realize I was living the life I’d once prayed for and dreamt about. But I’m an overnight success 13 and a half years in the making because this life is possible thanks to all the work I’ve been doing and the community I’ve been building since I started See Jane Write in March of 2011.

Gratitude and Grief

Oprah Winfrey once said, “Be thankful for what you have, and you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you’ll never, ever have enough.” Even though this is coming from a woman who has everything, I think she’s right.

And last month, a fitness influencer I follow on Instagram posted this: “Life has a funny way of giving grateful people even more things to be grateful for… So be grateful.”

This is exactly what happened. After my mindset shift, after I became overwhelmingly grateful for my life just as it was, more great opportunities came my way. I was asked to deliver the keynote address at this year’s Alabama Writer’s Cooperative Conference. I got even more opportunities to work with GirlSpring. I was asked to teach a personal narrative class at ArtPlay. I signed on more one-on-one coaching clients. And I secured my most lucrative freelance writing gig yet.

The irony of all this, however, is that even though 2024 was the year I fell in love with my life, it was also one of the most challenging years of my life. My parents have faced serious health issues this year. One of my dear friends died unexpectedly. And then there was the November 5th election.

With all that happened this year, I must admit that I found myself living in a state of always waiting for the other shoe to drop. When I felt myself feeling too grateful, too happy, or too excited, I would tell myself to cut out it because you know something bad is around the corner.

Memories of 2020 didn’t help. That year was to be my first full year as a writerpreneur and I was so excited and ready to take on the world. And then cancer and COVID happened.

So how do we deal with this?

Toxic positivity might just say, “Oh don’t think like that!” But the truth is bad stuff happens ALL THE TIME. Pretending that it doesn’t isn’t the answer.

Birmingham-based writer Joi Miner, who happens to be one of my closest friends, helped me through this. I don’t have a lot of friends I can be honest with because I’m the strong friend, the happy friend, the inspiring friend. But I can be real with her. One day when we went out for breakfast I told her I was really struggling with this fear. She could understand because she’s battled major health issues like me. She confessed she struggles with this too.

After our breakfast, she sent me an article on the history of the platform shoe. Among other things the shoes were worn in the medieval era when walking outside to help people avoid the human and animal feces that frequently lined the streets.

So she sent me that article with this message:

When that other shoe drops, put that bitch on and use the height to not let the bullshit get on ya. That’s what heels were made for anyway. We’re both letting fear steal our joy! We gone turn our trials into our runways.

Yes! That’s the energy I needed. Not a Pollyanna attitude, not someone telling me that bad things won’t happen. Because shit happens!!!

But there is always joy.

I want to be careful not to use joy as a mask or a muzzle as writer Tracey Michae’L Lewis-Giggetts cautions against. I’m not going to smile when I don’t mean it. I’m not going to be dishonest about struggle or pain. But there is always joy. And joy is resistance – resistance of the bullshit!

This year has taught me just how powerful gratitude can be. Being grateful totally shifted how I felt in my everyday life and helped me fall in love with my life and I believe that attitude of gratitude opened the door for more blessings. But this year has also taught me that gratitude and grief can coexist.

Busy But Unbothered

Because I’m so grateful for my life, I want to change the way I talk about it. Whenever someone asks me how I’m doing I almost always say “Busy!” I’ll add that being busy as a freelancer is a good thing because if you’re not busy you’re not eating – and that’s facts! But I am not busy in the way I used to be. I’m busy but not in a way that leaves me feeling exhausted. I’m busy but unbothered because I’m doing things that fill my cup and I’m prioritizing rest and self-care.

I often say I used to freelance on the side so I’d have money to take vacations but now that I freelance full-time I live a life I never feel like I need a vacation from. And that’s not just a phrase to help me sell my freelance writing course. It’s the truth.

So instead of saying “I’m busy,” it’s more accurate to say I have a full life. And I love it!

Boldly Moving Forward

Now I am the Proverbs 31 woman who is clothed in strength and dignity and laughs at the days to come without fear of the future.

My joy is my strength. Gratitude gives me dignity. And I’m excited to see what’s next.

Join me on Sunday, December 15 at 4 p.m. for Write the Vision: 2025 Goal Setting & Planning Workshop so we can dream together. Learn more and register here.